I have been having a really hard time in recent months with my Bi-Polar and feeling very lonely a lot of the time. I have been fighting with deep rooted spirits who linger long after they have become yesterday's news.
I have been struggling to stay alive in the game of life and all its wonders but keep drowning in my own sorrows.
I have been given a gift that I have waited for for many years and it brings pure joy (well, also stress) to our home and all who encounter this gift. It is also the best thing to have come into our marriage, and more specifically to my husband, in many years. When my husband interacts with this gift he lights up and the joys he had as a child come back. You have no idea how much joy that brings to me and how I have longed for this...but...this gift was supposed to be for me! This gift is something I have worked hard for and longed for. I have cried for this gift, longing for it to enter my life, longing to hold it when nobody else is around, longing for the companionship, and longing for the priceless service this gift can offer me.
I am struggling with an ultimate sacrifice as a gift to my marriage. I am thinking about laying down my needs for his joy so that in the end...we all win but I am just a different person. Perhaps better, perhaps not, but I believe that there will be new life in coming days and weeks and the sacrifice I offer will actually free me from some kind of bondage. At least I hope so. I'll let you know!
In waiting...for a new Spring!
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