2020 A Year to Remember!

 This year has brought with it a lot of pain, loss, heartache, and lots and lots of anxiety in everyone.  But, it has also brought joy, fulfillment of a life-long dream, time to consider what's really important in life, and the direction to continue our journey on the other side of two mountain ranges and lots of land in between!

This year I have made my life promises, or vows, as a Benedictine Oblate with St. Placid Priory in Lacey, Washington!  It is the fulfillment of something that has held my heart since I was a teenager, and longed to live a life as a consecrated nun!  My ways of worship have travelled many miles and I have been blessed with experiences so uniquely different throughout my life, each of them adding more depth to my spiritual walk.  But in the end (not really end, more like my last commitment towards), I end up back where I started, the Roman Catholic Church!  There were many years where I felt at complete odds with the Catholic Church, and couldn't reconcile my beliefs, or understandings, with those I thought they believed.  The whole time, I never left the side of Jesus, and God has been the cornerstone that has kept my foundation from completely crumbling apart all together!

In this blog, I would like to share my journey with you, the reader.  I have had the most amazing adventures throughout my life, and I believe that my life is only halfway begun!  I have had blessings too many to count, and heartaches and trials that brought me to my knees and almost killed me!  But what do you expect when living this life of a human on a planet, for so many years?  It is not only the good and cherished memories that should be called blessings.  It is also the horrid, terrifying, crying your eyes out like you have a river coming out of your head memories, that are considered blessings because of what they bring to your life and what they take out of your life.  It takes every single life experience to make the person that you are today.  If I hadn't made some horrible choices, and suffered greatly, I would have never ended up with my husband and living in Washington State!

So...back to 2020!  This year has brought about the completion of at least the physical appearance of my body, after surviving breast cancer in 2019!  But we will talk more about that in another blog post!  This year has brought so much grief, and too much death!  It has brought to the light the amount of hate and anger that has probably lingered in the shadows for too long!  There is something that happens when you turn on a light switch in a dark room.  The things that were once hidden in the dark, come to the forefront and can be seen plainly.  It is extremely heartbreaking to see, but at least now we can see that it is there and we can begin the process of healing hearts, spirits, families, relationships, communities, the nation, and ultimately the world.  Take heart, my fellow sojourners, it is always darkest right before the dawn!  Let us start this very hard path towards wholeness, by taking baby steps.  Let us start smiling more at strangers.  When you see someone struggling, lend a hand, even if it is just a little bit.  When you look around and see signs that seem to be yelling out political statements, think twice.  They are merely painted letters on a banner.  Put it aside and consider if there is anything, even one thing, that you might have in common with the person or people behind that banner.  It could be as little as the fact that you both are breathing the same air that God has given you.  It could be that you are both having a hard time to know what to say to each other, or how to live in such a trying time.  Perhaps this is where we can begin to build the bridges by a little smile and something nice to say, like "have a good day!"

Let us begin our long journey, through the darkest night, together instead of apart!  And with that, I bid you, fare thee well my fellow sojourners!  Until next time!  And may God warm your heart and keep you safe through the night!

2015: Shamanism

Shamanic Calling

I have known for many years I was drawn to this calling but I didn't have a name for it until a friend shared with me about shamanism five or so years ago.  Even then I saw it as something that only existed in indigenous cultures and many light years away from the type of modern life I lead.  Yet, the more I read the more I knew a great part of me had the giftings to be connected to the spirit world and nature around me in a very strong way.  If you were to look at me from a superficial description you would see a middle class, white, protestant European who hardly looks the part of a mystical and powerful shaman.  I can't change what I look like or where I come from and I am highly connected to the modern world and the luxuries I live with that help me to exist in this world as a productive and able bodied person. 

However, recently during an extended stay in Europe I was forced into looking at who I really am and what it is that makes me passionate.  Yes, there is no denying that I have a deep appreciation of the beauty displayed in the works of art and culture connected to my European heritage but when I was there in its midst for so many weeks my heart longed to connect to the earth around me at a much deeper level than just the aesthetics of its beauty.  I spent a couple of weeks on the river Ahr in Germany and the moments I remember with the greatest pleasure were the times I sat by the river connecting with the trees, the birds,  and the depth of the river's power.  I found it very sad that things seemed to operate around me on such a superficial level without recognizing the much more vibrant and powerful nature that existed.  I knew then and there that no matter how steeped I am in my own background I have a much deeper connection to the Earth and the Spirit Realm that gives to me in a way I can not find elsewhere.

This brings me to the awareness and recognition of the shamanic calling no matter who you are or where you come from.  Nature and the Great Spirit make no distinction between peoples and the need for shamans couldn't be greater.  There is a very strong calling going out throughout the Earth for people to bring healing to our Mother Earth, all the animals and the peoples who inhabit it.  I am willing to take up that calling and walk this path set before me.  Where it will take me I know not but I do know that it is greater than anything else I will ever do.  It is a journey of honor and responsibility that I take up with pride and humility.  Pride, because I am proud to walk amongst great teachers who have gone before me and who walk the path currently.  Humility, because I am fully aware that anything I do does not come from be but that I am merely a vessel of the One who called me; the Great Spirit who lives in all.

2011: A year of change

This year has brought a lot of change in my business and outlook on life.  I have had a type of a paradigm shift in my beliefs and what I find to be important.  As I have been assimilating new information and beliefs I find a way of reconciling them with my foundational beliefs, such as God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  I have found that it is not necessary to drop the things I found important before in order to add more to the list.  Of course, the things I find important haven't changed all that much.  They have just been refined.

Often in life we are faced with new realities that make us question all we believe and hold to be true.  Why do we feel so threatened by new information.  When we are in school and we learn new things we don't stop believing everything up to that point in order to accept that new knowledge.  For example, when we learn how to do higher levels of computation we don't stop doing arithmetic do we?

In this new year I would challenge us all to try to look at the same old things with a fresh perspective.  Try seeing if there is another, perhaps deeper, view of those things we, in the past, never questioned or considered to see from a different perspective.  Perhaps we will all learn something new!

Namaste!

Feed the Soul AND the Body

I've been thinking lately a lot about my physical body and needs; primarily because I'm dealing with several herniated discs in my back and that means I'm also dealing with a lot of pain.  When our physical body hurts we tend to its needs.  When it is tired we seek rest.  When it is desiring fleshly pleasures we gladly appease it to the point of over-saturation of fleshly pleasures.

Why then, when our soul is lacking we do not pay it the same attention?  When our soul cries out we often do not recognize the cry and think it is our physical body once again needing something.  There are two problems here. 

The first problem is that we don't know how to recognize our soul's cry for food.  Recognizing that there is a problem means that we are attuned to the voice our soul has and we accept that voice as coming from deep within us.

The second problem is that we don't often know how to feed our soul.  Sure, we might placate it by giving some "spiritual food" momentarily.  We might take a few moments, hours or even days and go on a retreat.  We reach for that spiritual mountaintop experience and then get filled up for the time being.  But if our physical bodies are hungry we don't make a huge feast and think it will suffice for the coming year, do we?  Of course not!  So why do we treat our souls, spiritual beings, this way and call it good?

Take the following steps to work towards wholeness and health in your spiritual being:

1. Acknowledge that you are a spiritual being, a soul, who occupies a physical body for the time being until this life melts into our eternal life.
2. Once you acknowledge this, recognize that your soul has a voice, can communicate with you and in fact, DOES communicate through various means when we make the effort to listen.
3. Start feeding your soul daily by spending some time in nature.  It is often when we go outdoors and sit for a spell that we start settling down our physical body's antics and can even begin to listen to the soul.  I think there are many reasons why sitting in the outdoors helps to feed our souls.  Often we lead such hectic lives with noises everywhere we turn, that we have even a hard time sifting through the noises and distinguishing that small inner voice from our own greedy pleasures.  This doesn't have to be more than 5-10 minutes to start.  If you say that you don't even have that much time then you should ask yourself what you hold important.  Sure, you have a family, work, church or civic duties, lots of responsibilities.  But out of what are you feeding all those others in your life?  If a woman is on a cold, snowy mountain with only one pair of gloves and one coat to keep herself warm what would happen if she gave these up to another who had none?  She would die of the cold and the other would be extremely grateful for her sacrifice.  When you give away all that you have, sure you would be considered a very righteous and generous person, but some people might also call that move dumb.  Feed yourself well so you may extend a bountiful hand to your neighbor!  Don't live continuously on empty unless you desire to exist on fumes and barely get by!
4. While you start on your journey to spiritual well being by feeding your soul little bits and pieces work on finding those things that feed your soul like nothing else.  Since I have been working with energy I have been learning that when I am spiritually strong and my Ki, Chi, Ruach is flowing freely without many blockages in my body I find myself in a creative mountaintop experience.  It goes without saying that the Spirit that created all there is continues to create as it flows through all matter.  If everything was created by God, then creativity is the very apex of God's Spirit!  Find that creative energy and allow it to work in you  and through you in the unique and personal way that is just you!  That might mean art or music.  It might mean gardening or making crafts.  Perhaps that creative energy in you desires to write poetry or build something beautiful!  Just allow it time and the freedom to have no boundaries.  Pretend you're a child again and take away those grown up inhibitions!
5. Let this be the beginning and don't stop!  Continue feeding your soul alongside your body.  Your life will begin to prosper richly in a way that can only produce more good.  As you spend the time to heal and get healthy explore new things and pour out of your flowing over cup into somebody else's empty cup.  Anytime we receive it is important to pass it along to another.  Stay balanced with giving and receiving and you will be rewarded in ways you never imagined!

God Bless You and Keep You!  Nameste!
Cloud Sun Dancing

Everything New: Behold the Old has passed away!

Everything is coming together.  I've completely changed my website with prices listed and services available.  The new image of FCI is all over the place.  My private practice treatment room is all ready for customers and I've got car magnets and new business cards are being made with appointment reminders on the backside.  I'm on my last 2 lessons in Reiki Level 2.  Now 2 other things are left to do: bring in clients and get connected to the local community where my gifts are recognized and I can build relationships with other practitioners.  If you are reading this and live in the Puget Sound Area please connect with me.

A whole new me!

God's timing is always impeccable even though I challenge it on a fairly regular basis.  This is my first post in two months with so much to share with the world!  First, that gift, namely the dog I got to be my service dog, is adjusting to our family nicely but still very young.  It was decided to continue with service dog training and my partnership with him.  Second, May 25th marks a changing point in my spiritual walk.  I have adopted an Indian name of Cloud Sun Dancing.  The name fully describes me and my life in more ways than one.  I also became an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church on that date.  Very shortly afterward I embarked on my journey with Reiki and have been attuned to the Universal Life Force in order to practice Reiki.  My whole orientation and spiritual outlook is different. 

I no longer consider myself a Christian, outside of my faith in Jesus Christ, because the Church does not represent my deepest yearnings anymore.  Actually, I'm not sure what to call myself.  I am a member of the universe and share in the ebb and flow of its energy as it passes through my life by way of nature, people, animals and God.  I'm sure that most my Christian friends would not understand so I'm not going out of my way to tell them about my new found faith.  I have never felt more connected to everything around me and in me!  It is the way we were meant to live; to be fully aware of our bodies and those around us!  I feel connected to every living thing, every plant and grain of dirt! 


Thank you God!

A Sacrifice...A Deep Pain...A New LIfe:

I have been having a really hard time in recent months with my Bi-Polar and feeling very lonely a lot of the time.  I have been fighting with deep rooted spirits who linger long after they have become yesterday's news.
I have been struggling to stay alive in the game of life and all its wonders but keep drowning in my own sorrows.
I have been given a gift that I have waited for for many years and it brings pure joy (well, also stress) to our home and all who encounter this gift.  It is also the best thing to have come into our marriage, and more specifically to my husband, in many years.  When my husband interacts with this gift he lights up and the joys he had as a child come back.  You have no idea how much joy that brings to me and how I have longed for this...but...this gift was supposed to be for me!  This gift is something I have worked hard for and longed for.  I have cried for this gift, longing for it to enter my life, longing to hold it when nobody else is around, longing for the companionship, and longing for the priceless service this gift can offer me. 

I am struggling with an ultimate sacrifice as a gift to my marriage.  I am thinking about laying down my needs for his joy so that in the end...we all win but I am just a different person.  Perhaps better, perhaps not, but I believe that there will be new life in coming days and weeks and the sacrifice I offer will actually free me from some kind of bondage.  At least I hope so.  I'll let you know!

In waiting...for a new Spring!